Five Ways to Identify Your Top Parenting Experts 

Maybe like us, you’ve seen some of the recent social media posts about “turning off the voices.” It seems the latest trend taking over the parenting internet is all about intuition. Unfollow, delete, close the app, shut out the external information and parenting experts and rely solely on your own gut feelings when you’re making a parenting decision. 

Maybe also like us, you can feel the appeal behind this approach! When we talk to our parents about their journeys raising us in our own childhood, it’s evident that this era of Googling and following has indeed resulted in an inundation of information for many millennial parents. In addition, the COVID-19 pandemic in recent years led to many new parents embarking on that journey with their young children alone, relying on Google for answers because they weren’t able to see friends or family in person to ask for advice. It’s easy to be overwhelmed by consuming so much information from so many people telling us what to do or what to buy. 

But on the flip side, embracing our intuition above all else isn’t necessarily realistic and doesn’t necessarily make you a better parent. Even if we do delete social media and close Google, there will still be voices influencing our parenting, like our doctors, our friends, our family, or others. 

When it comes to parenting information, who’s right? 

With all of these influences in mind, it’s hard to know how to wisely balance the usefulness of the myriad of available parenting resources out there with our individual intuition. So many resources claim to be the “experts” and yet those reels on Instagram are telling us that we should ignore them all and be our own experts. Who’s right? 

Not only that, but when it comes to each individual parenting decision, there are often two sides (and often with strong opinions). One “sleep expert” says you should sleep train, while another “sleep consultant” says you should co-sleep. Who’s right? The pediatrician says to offer Tylenol to your teething baby while the community of holistic moms you meet with at church say its ingredients are toxic. Who’s right? 

Even just a few examples illustrate the point – knowing who the true “expert” is can be complicated. The problem is exacerbated by our use of parenting labels and boxes like “crunchy” and “silky”, which can pressure us into feeling like we have to align with a certain group of experts to fit in. 

As a parent in this age of the Internet and endless information, who do you trust? 

We’ve asked ourselves this question many times in our own parenting journeys thus far. Really, there’s no right answer. Choosing your experts and identifying resources you trust can be an evolving process over time in your family life. For each parenting decision that we make, we all have to balance gathering information from sources we’ve chosen to trust with our own intuition.

Below are five considerations that we’ve put together that may help you to identify your own parenting experts. With each consideration, knowing how you learn best can be helpful when thinking about resources you trust. Our free learning styles quiz and workbook is a good place to start! 

1. Consider Family Relationships 

For some parents, a personal relationship is important when following parenting advice. Perhaps the most trusted experts for you are those closest to you in real life, such as family and friends. In the first place, these experts are the ones you trust because they’re the ones you know! You’ve seen their parenting produce positive results or witnessed their expertise in real life. It’s the relationship that causes you to trust their practical advice. 

2. Consider Years of Experience 

Family members, especially parents, grandparents, or others of the wiser generation can also boast years of experience when it comes to making parenting decisions. Maybe experience is an important factor for you when choosing experts. It increases your confidence to know that the person whose advice you are following has practical skills and experience implementing that suggestion. 

This idea can also apply to other experts you’re not personally related to. For example, a healthcare provider for your family has years of clinical experience or private practice work, which increases your trust in their medical opinions. 

3. Consider Credentials

For some parents, credentials are an important part of defining expertise. This is often most meaningful in the healthcare and research settings. For example, you may rely on scientific research studies published by PhD experts in their field when making decisions. Or, you may have a high level of trust in a well-established, well-credentialed organization such as ACOG or the AAP as child experts. (To learn more about professional organizations, check out this post). 

There are also many social media accounts organized by credentialed professionals, such as developmental psychologists, social worker, occupational or speech therapists, and many more that may fall into this category of experts. Best-selling books is another avenue to find information from credentialed experts.  

4. Consider Parenting Styles 

While we don’t agree with limiting ourselves to a particular box or label as parents (read more in our posts on parenting labels and crunchy moms), thinking about your style as a parent can be helpful in identifying your experts. For example, if you tend towards responsive parenting strategies, you may place more confidence in the recommendations or resources from a gentle parenting Instagram account. Social media accounts can be a helpful expert when it comes to matching your parenting style. 

Additionally, your decision making style can be relevant here. Are you a “one and done” decision maker who likes to read a singular resource and follow its recommendations? Or do you like to read all of the resources available? (Check out our Resource Guides in the shop for support in finding resources about a parenting topic).  Do you tend to choose quickly or agonize over a decision for weeks? Are there particular topics that you tend to worry more about than others? What’s your learning style (take our quiz to find out)? Do you prefer listening to podcasts or reading articles? 

Choosing experts that fit with your own style, both in parenting values and research strategies, can help build your confidence and trust.   

5. Consider Your Own Kids and Family 

Each of our children and families has their own unique desires and needs. Consider your child’s needs when choosing trusted resources. Your family values are an important player in shaping what experts you choose. If your family values medical advice, perhaps you will prioritize your pediatrician or other medical providers as a resource. If you value community, perhaps you will prioritize your mom group and the recommendations they share. Furthermore, what gives you the most peace as a parent? 

If you have small children, use your parent-child relationship and observe which resources have had ideas that worked for your kids. What resources do they benefit from the most?

Choosing Experts can be a Nuanced Process 

In reality, there are times in which all of these “experts” can be helpful, and times when the best expert in knowing our child’s needs is ourselves. Instead of looking at our parenting through a singular lens, the good news is that we can choose to incorporate many different kinds of expert advice into our decision making process. It’s embracing this process that will make you the best parent for your kids, not necessarily which experts you chose. 

This kind of nuanced approach, however, does mean that we’ll probably have to expend more time and effort both sorting through resources and building confidence in our own intuition. It’s hard work but can go a long way in supporting our families. Depending on what decisions you prioritize, a different kind of expert resource – or no resource at all – might be the most useful. And because there are really no best practices when it comes to choosing which resources you personally trust, one of the hardest parts is avoiding comparison to other parents and the experts they’ve chosen to rely on. 

On our blog, we try to share a variety of different kinds of resources because we know that everyone trusts different experts. We hope to help you find resources that work for you! We also recognize that this doesn’t take into account the real-life, personal resources you may rely on (we’re always asking our moms, mother-in-laws, grandmas, friends, and others). You can read more about how to locate resources, check out our resource page, or follow our Resource of the Week posts on the blog or on Instagram for more ideas! 

Some food for thought as you develop your parenting research strategies: 

• Who are your personal “experts”? 
• Who do you trust when it comes to learning parenting information and making decisions? Does this change depending on the type of decision? 
• Why do you trust them? Are there any you should re-evaluate? 
• How confident are you in yourself as the expert for your own kids? Are there any areas that you could grow in for trusting your intuition?